Sunday, August 24, 2008

"Oh My God, What The Hell Is That?!"

So I was doing some plumbing yesterday. I was in the crawlspace of a new house that had been vacant for about a year. I had just finished sweating the last two copper joints for the washing machine when a strange sensation came over me. I had been alone, but I didn't really feel that way anymore. I glanced around, probing the darkness with my handy headlamp, but saw nothing. I went back to the task at hand and started packing up my gear. I got everything packed up except my pliers and couldn't remember where I had set them. I began to look around on the little ledge below the floor joists. As my light rounded the corner, I was suddenly face to whatever with THIS CRAZY LOOKING SON OF A BITCH!!!!

What the hell is this folks? I've been under many many houses over the years, and I've been in some nasty places and seen some nasty shit, but I've never seen anything like this.

I was paralyzed. I tried to call out for help, but no sound would come out. I just stood there, staring. I wouldn't shine the light on it for more than three or four seconds at a time, as it might have been photosensitive and grown to immense proportions. I just made my observations in short intervals.

When the feeling returned to my legs, I slowly backed away. Never breaking eye contact, never faster than a crawl, until I'd finally reached the door and emerged into the sweet salvation of the sunshine. I sprinted to my truck and grabbed my camera, shovel, and a Japanese pull saw.

When I returned to the crawlspace, I was relieved/terrified to see the entity still in place. Sitting there, being alien. I readied the shovel in defense and snapped a few photos because I knew no one would believe me. Fearing the possibility of the flash causing the gigantism issue I mentioned earlier, I limited the amount of pics taken. You may view a slide show of the mystery Cryptid here.

Someone please tell me what this thing is and how I can stop it. I have to get my pliers back.

1 comment:

gheySF said...

Well, dick, judging by my limited time on the site and limited viewing of the xoom crew, my guess is its Cleveland wedged in the space. Perhaps he hid there in hopes of catching a glimpse of your mating rituals. I can only presume that the swelling of the body during excitement caused the temporary wedge. Pure speculation of course!