Friday, August 1, 2008

The so-called "Montauk Monster"

So we all remember the Rancor Monster from “Star Wars: Return of the Jedi” right? Well, apparently some are trying to make us believe it’s left the realm of fantasy and washed up on a Montauk, NY shore. Dubbed the Montauk Monster, this mysterious creature has puzzled many and excited cryptid lovers everywhere.

Sorry to burst everyone's bubble, but this thing is about as real as Brooke Burke's boobs.

The only thing remaining of this sea monster is some photos and the accounts of eyewitnesses, so that alone seems dubious.

The two locals who photographed this blob of a sea monster swear it’s real.

"We were looking for a place to sit when we saw some people looking at something," Jenna Hewitt, 26, of Montauk, said Wednesday.

She and three friends, including Rachel Goldberg, 29, also of Montauk, walked over to see what was going on.

"We were kind of amazed," Hewitt said, "shocked and amazed."

She said she borrowed Goldberg's digital camera, aimed and fired off two shots.

"We didn't know what it was," she said. "We joked that maybe it was something from Plum Island."

Many have speculated as to what the creature might be. Some say a dog or raccoon, yet many think it’s an elaborate prank made with latex. (Click Latex For A Shameless Plug)

By Tuesday, the beast -- now morphed into to full-fledged Internet viral monster, lumbered onto, under a headline bidding locals: GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR HELL DEMONS.

Hell demons?

In the Hamptons?

Larry Penny, the town's resource director, doesn't think so. (At least about the Montauk Monster.)

"It could be a dog," he said. "Or, looking at the picture, we thought it could be a raccoon that was skinned and has its upper jaw missing."

But William Wise, director of Stony Brook University's Living Marine Resources Institute, after looking at the photo and consulting with a fellow biologist (who knows land creatures), disagrees.

He knows what it isn't.

A raccoon. ("The legs appear to be too long in proportion to the body.")

A sea turtle. ("Sea turtles do not have teeth.")

A rodent. ("Rodents have two huge, curved incisor teeth in front of their mouths.")

He said the general body shape looks like a dog or other canine ("Coyote?"). But that the "prominent eye ridge and the feet" don't match.

He said the feet and face look "somewhat ovine" -- that would be like a sheep -- but sheep don't have sharp teeth.

Wise's best, educated guess: "A talented someone who got very creative with latex."

So what is this mysterious sea monster, a newly discovered species, or an elaborate latex puppet brought to us straight from the wild imaginations of a few pranksters? I guess we’d have a better clue if the finders would only release the location of it’s whereabouts.

Hewitt said she knows.

"A guy took it and put it in the woods in his backyard; he has a big backyard," she said. "The thing is rotting there."

But she wouldn't say who; wouldn't say where.

Seems very convenient... very convenient indeed.

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